You know you’ve lived in Quito when…

Where off to next this weekend? Beach? Cloud Forest? Amazon? Climb some Volcanoes?.

You know you´ve lived in Quito when…

  •  your local neighborhood shop owners have all the same name- El veci or La veci
  • After 2am, your alcohol run consists of looking for the little square windows on the closed store fronts so an “invisible hand” can sell you alcohol
  • you know Quito is actually properly  pronounced Quitoff
  • and every word usually ends with ito or ita . El platito, la cucharita ..
  • your local language includes: No sea Maliiiito, Por fiz
    hazme haciendolo, Amigis, Siga No Mas

    One bottle of  Pilsener, 10 cups to share the beer

    pilsener.

  • Canelazo is to be drunk when in Guapulo or La Ronda
  • If you don’t know how to cook, then you are a carishina
  • Buy anything to eat? Be prepared to share with everyoneeee. You will be a malcriado if you don’t offer a bite to the people who you are with
  •  You are waiting for the promo deals to recharge your  cell phone saldo, till then you do not communicate because “Me quede sin saldo 
  •  wednesday= ladies night=  Thursday Chuchaqui
  • you have learned to love karoke
  •  Your gringo friend met his local girlfriend at a bar at  La Foch
  • But really regret drinking La pecera. And really regret ending with norteño
  • You can pay $30 for  a sit-down meal in La Floresta, and $2 meal standing up
  • You know all the Quito Hipsters… all 30 of them
  • “Leaving Quito Exchange” is  better than Google for information about Quito and selling  used shit for more than the original price
  •  You know “La Man” refers to a  woman
  • BiciQ is your best weapon during rush hour

    You didn’t go to Parque Carolina if you didn’t have a cevichochocevichochos.quito.

  • You have been called:  Mi Reina, Querida, Preciosa, Mi hijita, Mi Amor, from random people
  • Menestras del Negro is not offensive
  • Futbol is more important than anything! And when the Ecuadorian team plays for the world cup, it’s a national holiday
  • ..but you have to wait one day before the date to confirm if the president will declare it a national holiday
  • There are four social classes : Poor, middle class, funcionarios, and los Pelucones

  • if you  havent had to say ” im finally shitting normal” you have not been eating out or eating in general
  • Baños is not for that. and you have visited the town at least 3 times a year
  • Mercado is always cheaper than Supermaxi

  Plaza de las tripas is actually quite appetizing despite the name las tripas. la flresta

  • you are paranoid  getting into a taxi and have to make sure of it has the emergency red button.

    you can’t breathe at an intersection

    quito.smog.

  • The black smog residue on the streets and building lets you know you are close to an ecovia station
  • $3 for lunch is really expensive. It very pelucon after $3
  • you have almost been killed crossing a round-about
  • the street dogs are smarter at crossing the roads than humans

    Looking for a  job? Gotta wait to apply for a Concurso

  • You don’t need a Stairmaster, you have the steep hills for that
  • Cobblestones and heels do not get along
  •  You did not have a proper meal if it didn’t come with rice, even if it was pasta.
  • Shawarma and a Pilsener is always the choice for a pre-game bite
  • a bus isn´t official if it doesn´t have a Jesus or Virgin Mary

    KFC is the Mcdonald’s of Quito and somehow their chicken tastes better than the US

  •  Mcdonald’s is actually for the elite, and the dollar menu isn’t a dollar
  • you´ve adopted your own panaderia, pirated movie store, tienda, movistar
  • there are three races outside of Latino: chinos, gringos, negros
  • Banana is not just a banana. There’s categories, colors and sizes.
  • aji makes any meal that much better
  • you can never expect them to have change for your $20 bill, or even the $10 bill!
  • Credit cards accepted? Good Luck.
  • Thunderstorm is the queue for you to run and get your clothes and it’s the afternoon
  • You have to pay for public bathroom
  • the public is more scared of the president than the active volcanos erupting
  • Watching Volcano eruption is  actually quite romantic

    You know it’s Saturday because the  Sabatina with this guy is on for four hours …

    sabatina.correa.

  •  you know the best ceviche spot in Quito. and its not at a restaurant.
  •  you get turned down by taxis because they’re not headed where you want to go
  • you have had to replace your $5 Rayban Sunglasses every month

     you always need a factura– even for the $2 purchase. Or next week you favorite shop might get clausurado

    clausurado

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About Michelle Estefanía Cruz

I’m Chicago-Raised, Quito-Born. Petite Cumbiera with Samba Soul currently in Brazil. Una Viajera who writes in Spanglish cuz my mind is split between both hemispheres and hyphens. @funkysudaka
This entry was posted in Ecuador, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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