Where off to next this weekend? Beach? Cloud Forest? Amazon? Climb some Volcanoes?.
You know you´ve lived in Quito when…
- your local neighborhood shop owners have all the same name- El veci or La veci
- After 2am, your alcohol run consists of looking for the little square windows on the closed store fronts so an “invisible hand” can sell you alcohol
- you know Quito is actually properly pronounced Quitoff
- and every word usually ends with ito or ita . El platito, la cucharita ..
- your local language includes: No sea Maliiiito, Por fiz
hazme haciendolo, Amigis, Siga No Mas
One bottle of Pilsener, 10 cups to share the beer
- Canelazo is to be drunk when in Guapulo or La Ronda
- If you don’t know how to cook, then you are a carishina
- Buy anything to eat? Be prepared to share with everyoneeee. You will be a malcriado if you don’t offer a bite to the people who you are with
- You are waiting for the promo deals to recharge your cell phone saldo, till then you do not communicate because “Me quede sin saldo“
- wednesday= ladies night= Thursday Chuchaqui
- you have learned to love karoke
- Your gringo friend met his local girlfriend at a bar at La Foch
- But really regret drinking La pecera. And really regret ending with norteño
- You can pay $30 for a sit-down meal in La Floresta, and $2 meal standing up
- You know all the Quito Hipsters… all 30 of them
- “Leaving Quito Exchange” is better than Google for information about Quito and selling used shit for more than the original price
- You know “La Man” refers to a woman
- BiciQ is your best weapon during rush hour
You didn’t go to Parque Carolina if you didn’t have a cevichocho
- You have been called: Mi Reina, Querida, Preciosa, Mi hijita, Mi Amor, from random people
- Menestras del Negro is not offensive
- Futbol is more important than anything! And when the Ecuadorian team plays for the world cup, it’s a national holiday
- ..but you have to wait one day before the date to confirm if the president will declare it a national holiday
There are four social classes : Poor, middle class, funcionarios, and los Pelucones
- if you havent had to say ” im finally shitting normal” you have not been eating out or eating in general
- Baños is not for that. and you have visited the town at least 3 times a year
- Mercado is always cheaper than Supermaxi
Plaza de las tripas is actually quite appetizing despite the name
- you are paranoid getting into a taxi and have to make sure of it has the emergency red button.
you can’t breathe at an intersection
- The black smog residue on the streets and building lets you know you are close to an ecovia station
- $3 for lunch is really expensive. It very pelucon after $3
- you have almost been killed crossing a round-about
- the street dogs are smarter at crossing the roads than humans
Looking for a job? Gotta wait to apply for a Concurso
- You don’t need a Stairmaster, you have the steep hills for that
- Cobblestones and heels do not get along
- You did not have a proper meal if it didn’t come with rice, even if it was pasta.
- Shawarma and a Pilsener is always the choice for a pre-game bite
- a bus isn´t official if it doesn´t have a Jesus or Virgin Mary
KFC is the Mcdonald’s of Quito and somehow their chicken tastes better than the US
- Mcdonald’s is actually for the elite, and the dollar menu isn’t a dollar
- you´ve adopted your own panaderia, pirated movie store, tienda, movistar
- there are three races outside of Latino: chinos, gringos, negros
- Banana is not just a banana. There’s categories, colors and sizes.
- aji makes any meal that much better
- you can never expect them to have change for your $20 bill, or even the $10 bill!
- Credit cards accepted? Good Luck.
- Thunderstorm is the queue for you to run and get your clothes and it’s the afternoon
- You have to pay for public bathroom
- the public is more scared of the president than the active volcanos erupting
- Watching Volcano eruption is actually quite romantic
You know it’s Saturday because the Sabatina with this guy is on for four hours …
- you know the best ceviche spot in Quito. and its not at a restaurant.
- you get turned down by taxis because they’re not headed where you want to go
- you have had to replace your $5 Rayban Sunglasses every month
you always need a factura– even for the $2 purchase. Or next week you favorite shop might get clausurado